Birth of Benjamin Clark Sherwood 2-6-12

As I sit here with my baby boy sleeping next to me I am beyond emotional about the whole experience of not only growing him for 9 months but mostly the experience of willing him here when he was finally ready to come.  Most of those that know me know that I had prepared to give birth using Hypnobabies.  It was just a choice.  There are, I am sure, dozens of methods out there that help women prepare for birth and do a great job but here you will find a positive review for the Hypnobabies method!

Let me preface this post just by saying that no amount of words, even written in the most articulate, beautiful manner will EVER do any of this real justice or really convey what it was really like or how I felt during the birth and now.  But I feel like it's important to try because something needs to recorded, insufficient as it is.  And concerning the present, lets just say that I cry a lot and leave it at that. :)  Moving on!!

I should probably start by explaining what my expectations were.  And honestly I didn't have any!  That's why I am even more grateful that I chose Hypnobabies because it's whole basis is positive!  If I were just to have gone with the flow, not really having a plan then I am afraid I would have been overtaken by the popular norm out there concerning child birth.  And whether it's true or not doesn't matter but to the world, it's 'scary', it's 'painful' it's the 'hardest most uncomfortable thing you'll ever go through', it's blah blah blah...you hear it all the time..it's just the way it is!  So, if I hadn't surrounded myself with the positiveness of Hynobabies (or some other positive method) then I am sure, no I am certain my experience would have been completely opposite of what it was.  But because of Hypnobabies and the preparation I did with my mind and changing the way I viewed childbirth, I was given the expectation that my birth would be WONDERFUL...RELAXING AND PEACEFUL.  And it was!!!

So I think I am going to do this by telling it in story form.  We'll see how that works out...here it goes...

Once upon a time....haha just kidding...

Mimi aka my mom had been up here since I think the 25th or 26th of January (my 'due date' was the 25th so she was thinking it was better to be safe than sorry) patiently waiting the arrival of baby Ben.  She is so wonderful.  Each day she would encourage me...strongly encourage me to do some form of grunt work as to get the birth process started.  We hiked up the hill by our house that David walks to go to school...we took walks around the neighborhood, I cleaned the house sporadically yet hard, we drove to the mall several times just to take a stroll, Sams Club I think was the last of our journeys but it was a good one!  It even ended in us getting a membership! Yay for Sams!  Well Saturday rolls around and my mom and I are at Walmart looking at curtains and I feel something.  It's like period cramps...hmmmm I thought, I haven't felt those in a while.  Well after sorting through Walmart's selection of curtains for a while it got the point where I couldn't really focus on patterns or fabric anymore and I needed to walk and get things moving...so we start to head to the front of the store just both looking at eachother wondering if this could be it.  We picked up some berries and maybe some bananas and I called David.

I told him what I was feeling and that we would be home soon.  Well unfortunately once I sat down in the car, they kind of subsided.  Darn-it.  When we got home I found a very anxious and very excited husband.  I had to tell him that whatever it was had stopped and that it probably wasn't the real thing.  He got an adorable look on his face and said, "I was so excited, I brushed my teeth, almost finished packing and brought the bags down stairs!"  So cute!!  I was sorry to disappoint once again. :)  

So we went to bed...probably after watching an episode of Downtown Abbey (a new fav).  The next morning we went about our business probably all a little sad that last night wasn't the night. But as I was getting ready for church I started to feel them again.  They would come and go.  They weren't very strong or consistent per se but nonetheless there they were.  This time I kept my mouth shut.  I didn't say a word.  We went to Stake Conference and sat out in the foyer (softer chairs).  I would get up occasionally and walk around the church to see if they would stop or keep going.  This made my mom happy.  They kept going.  This made me happy.  We came home from church and honestly I don't remember what we did but at some point my mom informed me that maybe Clark was going to come up for a visit!  Yay!  I think this was the point that I told my mom what was going on.    Clark arrived and we casually had the Super Bowl on in the background while we chatted and ate dinner.  They got stronger.  At some point I had to lay down.  We started timing them.  I think they were randomly about 5 minutes apart.  So we called our Doula to let her know. She asked her questions so that she could see where we were at and she let me know what I should start doing.  She wanted us to listen to this certain Hypnobabies CD and then maybe take a shower to relax and center myself. Then we were to go to bed and sleep some if we could (it was about 9 pm at this time).  So that's what I did...at least tried to do.  First I asked my hubby for a priesthood blessing.  I said a prayer to invite the spirit and he gave the most beautiful, reassuring blessing I've had!  I am so grateful for the restored Gospel and for a worthy priesthood holder as a husband.  I truly believe that my experience was as it was because of that blessing, that added strength and knowledge.  

Then upstairs I lied down to listen to the CD with my husband and a really strong pressure wave came on...it got me right back up on my feet!  I knew then that there would be no sleeping!   I told my husband to get things ready while I showered!  We were heading down NOW!  So my amazing hubby kicked it in gear and got everything ready.  He packed the car, got the front seat perfectly comfortable for me, had my headphones waiting for me so that the hour car ride was absolutely comfortable.  Completely better than I thought it would be. We quickly said goodbye to my poor abandoned brother and headed out the door! I found myself easily using my Hypnobabies tools and cues and when each 'pressure wave' came on I would just completely relax and breath deeply.  I remember thinking how amazingly wonderful it was that there was a break in between each wave instead of constant pressure.  And not because I was in pain but because I was so aware of the little miracles and mercies.

Well we made it to the birthing center and getting out of the car I remember thinking, 'Wow, this is really happening!  We are really here!'  Once inside we were greeted by my Midwife, Chris and her assistant Robyn, and then they introduced me to Chris' intern Tina.  They all guided me into the birthing room (a master suite with a beautiful king bed, couches, fireplace, birthing tub and bassinet) and was able to relax in start doing my thing.   The lights were dim and it was warm.   We weren't there long and I realized that I wanted our Doula there.  At this point it was probably almost midnight but Talya eagerly said, 'I'll be right there!'  Once she showed up and I heard her voice I was really able to relax a whole lot more.  This is because she was our Hynobabies instructor as well and I guess her voice was just programmed in my mind as a relaxing cue.  She was amazing. She added to the atmosphere with her aromatherapy oils in the diffuser and she guided David and I through each pressure wave and suggested certain things and positions that might help.  I really am so grateful for Talya and just know that my birth would have been a whole lot different without her there.  

So if you are not too familiar with Hypnobabies one of the main principles that they teach is that the uterus is a muscle of extreme uniqueness because of the way it works and it's purpose. Following is an excerpt from my Hypnobabies book... "It is the only muscle in the body that contains within itself two opposing muscle groups: one to induce and continue birthing and another to stop pressure waves if the birthing mother is in danger or afraid.  Emotional or physical stress will automatically signal danger to the a birthing mammal.  Her birthing will slow down or stop completely so that she can run to safety.  In modern times, this goes haywire.  We can't run from our fears - which may include the 'horror story' our best friend told us about her birth - or even from our hospital or physician.  Instead, we may release adrenaline, which causes the short, circular muscle fibers in the lower third of the uterus to contract.  These muscles are responsible for stopping birthing waves by closing and tightening the cervix.  The result is that we literally stew in our own adrenaline.  At the same time that long, straight muscle fibers of the lower uterus are also contracting to keep the cervix closed and 'fight' the birthing waves.  The result?  The very real pain of two powerful muscles pulling in opposite directions each time the birthing mother has a contraction. (I experienced this once or twice during labor, when I tried to fight the contraction...MUCH more painful than just relaxing and letting go...I didn't do it again)  Anything causing fear in the birthing mother will increase her pain, a pain often described later as 'labor from hell'.  The constant presence of a loving, supportive and trained birth partner, effective education about the birthing process and a physician and birthing environment the birthing mother can trust can make all the difference in the world.  By learning to deeply relax mentally, physically and emotionally; actively dealing with fears about birth; and choosing a birthing environment that feels safe and protective, birthing women will not have to experience the traumatic pain caused by the 'Fear-Tension-Pain Syndrome'.  In such a positive mental, physical and emotional environment, birthing waves can feel very, very different."

So in a nutshell, when you are in a state of real relaxation (hypnosis), your brain waves slow down into what is called an alpha state, a state in which it is virtually impossible to release adrenaline, the 'fight-flight' hormone.  This is the state I was in for 12 hours.  

One of my favorite positions for probably and hour or two was called the abdominal lift and tuck.  It felt really good in relieving some of the pressure and is supposed to help baby position just perfectly on the cervix and help labor along.

So when a pressure wave would come on David would lean back against the wall in sort of squat so that I could sit back into him.  He would then grab my tummy and pull in and up while I pulled my pelvis in.  Oooooh it felt good.  It's a good thing that eventually I couldn't stand that position anymore because I think I wore my poor husband out!

Well when this position wore out it's welcome I would try sitting on my birth ball and leaning forward into David...Nope! Really didn't like that position! I think leaning forward in anyway just wasn't working for me...made me nausiated...which was interesting I thought.  So anyway to the rocking chair I went.  David would push on my tummy while I sat in the chair and Talya would press on my shoulder while saying the words 'Relax' and other Hynobabies cues.  I am not sure how long this went on.  By now I was making deep pitched 'Ahhhhhh' sounds with each pressure wave.  I remember this being mentioned in class but found myself just naturally doing it.  By having my mouth open and relaxed with deep sounds instead of high sounds really helped to keep me relaxed.  They say your mouth and your bottom are connected.  So if your jaw and mouth are tight and you have high pitched sounds coming out, your bottom is going to also be tight.  

 At some point Chris wanted to check me to see how far along I was.  No one told me and I didn't care. If I was not as 'far along as I thought' I didn't want to get discouraged and let that interfere with my mood.  I requested the bath to be filled so that I could get in.  I changed into my suit and hopped in.  Oooooh baby it felt good.  David jumped in with me for a while.  They say I was in there for a few hours too.  My mom said on her blog that my 'arms floated atop the water like al dente pasta' as I relaxed. Very peaceful, very quiet.  All I really remember is coming out like one very big pregnant prune!

So one of the many cool things about Hypnobabies is that 'every 20 minutes only feels like 5 minutes'.  This is something that was 'programmed' into our minds with some of the CD's and while I was pregnant I was like, 'Ya right, that can't really happen could it?'  But it totally did!  To me my labor when by so fast!  Infact when morning came I was shocked!  But that's moving ahead too far.  At some point while in the tub I vomited.  I was told that this was a good sign because it means transition or 'transformation' in Hypnobabies terms and that it helps to open things up and move things down even more.  So I asked my Doula if I was in transition and she said, 'Honey you've been in transition for a while now'. And I think at that point I was almost at the end of it and already feeling 'pushy'. 

I don't remember why I got out of the tub...someone probably suggested it and I agreed.  I think Chris checked me again on the bed and at that point she asked me if I could push her fingers out.  Baby Ben would come down with each push but then go back up after.  Chris suggested a different position.  We moved to the pot.  :)  Interestingly enough sitting on the toilet is a favorite position for laboring women and it works!  I guess it's the whole mindset of 'relax' when your on the pot. hehe.  So anyway the pushing continued.  Again I don't know how long I was there but it was a while.  I made lots of progress there.  Then we moved back to the bed for the final stretch.  I heard someone say that the sun was peeking through the window...it was morning!?!  It had been over two hours of pushing so I was pretty tired.  This is why I did not assume my desired position; squatting, to deliver Ben.  I was sad but knew if I wanted to get Ben here there and now I needed to reserve my strength as much as possible so my midwife, doula and assistant helped me get into a simulated squat on the bed.  This is how Ben was born into the world.  Finally Ben's head started to appear.  Everyone got so excited and kept urging me to look down and see and touch him.  I couldn't believe it and by seeing and feeling his soft head I was able to continue on and push him out the rest of the way.  I just wanted him here!  Suddenly he was there...on my chest...crying, warm, sweet smelling and oh so beautiful.  Ecstasy.  Pure joy, exultation and satisfaction.  And these feelings only were heightened when baby Ben looked up at me with perfectly clear and alert eyes...while we checked each other out and when he easily latched on and started breastfeeding.  I guess I can say the rest is history.  I fell in love that day and that love has grown each day beyond words.  

I am so grateful for so many things.  I am grateful for my little Ben for being so wonderful and perfect.  I love his sweet spirit and happy personality.  I am so grateful for my wonderful husband who has been beyond supportive since the day we saw those two pink lines. Who was the BEST birth partner and husband one could have and now the best father a son could ask for.  I am grateful for my mom who was the perfect cheerleader and who had faith in me the whole way...who stayed with us after Ben was born and cooked and cleaned and helped with midnight feedings and puttings to sleep and helped me get through the roughest part of breastfeeding.  I am grateful for the restored gospel of Jesus Christ and the knowledge that comes with it about the Great Plan of Happiness that our Savior has for us.  I am grateful that I was able to give birth safely and without complication or intervention.  I am grateful for the things I learned and the empowerment that I felt.  I am grateful for Hypnobabies that was the catalyst of the wonderful relaxing birth that I had.  

I want to end with another excerpt from my Hypnobabies book, an article called "Shifting the Paradigm of 'What If?!'"  because it's perfect...

"We need to shift the paradigm.  Instead of thinking, "What if?! in fearful ways -"What if I need to transfer?"  "What if my pain is so terrible?"  "What if I have a rupture?"  "What if my baby can't come down?"  "What if I lose control?"  "What if there are complications?"  

Why not think, "What if?!" in powerful ways - "What if I have the most beautiful experience of my life?"  "What if I could actually feel a wet, mewing baby on my belly - just after birth - and fall in love with that feeling forever?"  "What if I give birth and feel pure ecstasy?"  "What  will happen in my life if I give birth as a  powerful, free woman?"  "What will happen in my life if I claim my right to give birth as my biological destiny impels me to do?"  "What if I emerge victorious, free, sentient, powerful?"  "What if my baby never feels anything in his first few moments other than my body, and my love?"  "What if I push my baby out into my own hands - and pull him up - and kiss his wet head - and cry and moan and weep my joy in privacy, darkness and love?"  "What if my birth is the most loving, sweet and gentle moment of my life?"

"What if the very future rests on our blissful, empowered 'What If's'."